Our Crack Horoscopes

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    It’s a rare month for Pisces. Lots of planet action in your sign means lots happening for you. Challenging situations smooth out sooner, and there’s a feeling of having found your place in the world. Communication planet Mercury is retrograde in your sign from 5th, so expect some rearranging, reunions, or reconnections, especially now that habit-breaking Uranus is in your communication chart until 2026. On 6th there’s the annual new moon in your sign, and it’s next to your ruler, planet Neptune, which means there’s magic in the air. This new moon indicates new beginnings are in store for you in weeks to come; magical beginnings and a new you.

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    Uranus is the planet of radical change and revolution, and on 6th it leaves your sign, where it has been turning your world upside down since around 2011. If you look back from then till now (mercury retrograde will help you do that from the 5th), notice how you were shaken out of old routines and into new opportunities, sometimes unexpectedly, and how you’ve been updating your life to suit where you now want to go, rather than for settling where you’ve been. From 6th, all this is now happening in your income and resources chart, until 2026, so expect the same for money and security. Events around the full moon in your relationship chart on 21st might spark this process somehow.

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    It’s a strong month for Taurus, with mighty Mars still in your sign, and ground-breaking Uranus there from the 6th. The urge to move forward with what’s new is now irresistible, even if the pace is slow (your favourite pace). Mercury retrograde from 5th reconnects and reunites you with old friends, faces and places from the past, while the new moon on the 6th is connecting you to new friendships, groups and gatherings. The sun is at equinox point on 20th, which is about balancing and adjusting priorities. This is also the theme of the full moon, on 21st in your health and fitness chart.

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    Lots of planets are lining up in your aims and ambition chart, which means there’s lots of focus and activity, and choices and decisions during March around long-term plans, and career goals. Venus helps bring perspective to it all from the 1st, and Mercury retrograde here from 5th is about reviewing and reassessing things. A spectacular new moon on 6th is about significant new beginnings, while innovative Uranus on the same day speaks of a new 8-year cycle of breaking with the past and updating for the future. From 20th, it’s about having more fun, and making time to relax.

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    For the next 8 years Uranus, planet of freedom and revolution, is changing and updating your friendships, support network and links to groups and gatherings. Uranus is about uniqueness and finding your fit with others who match your style of authentic, so it speaks of situations that break the routines and ruts that kept you tied to who and what’s not serving you, in order to move the real you forward. A spiritual new moon on the 6th in your faith and perspective chart is helping you reframe how you see things in order to do this, and the full moon of fairness and justice on 21st in your home and family chart is about a whole new sense of belonging.

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    Uranus is your relationship planet, and it’s starting a new 8-year cycle from the 6th. It means what needed to happen since 2011 is over and done, and a new phase of experience is underway. Certain relationships took a lot of faith and belief, which helped developed more faith and belief. Now it’s about commitment and planning for the long-term in relationships, and the security of partnership. A new moon in your trust and intimacy chart on the 6th is about events in store that might soften or dissolve uncertainty or fear of the unknown, and around 20th more pieces of a recent puzzle are fitting together nicely.

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    Such a powerful month for partnership, whether in romance or business. From 5th your ruler Mercury is retrograde in your relationship chart, which means you’re reassessing your current situation and reconnecting with faces and places from the past. A heart-melting new moon on 6th indicates new or renewed love, and this is the time to put the rose-tinted specs on and surrender to the idea that romance can be real and lasting. Uranus, planet of freedom, is in your chart of travel and education from 6th, which makes you restless for new vistas and perspectives, and from 20th you’re ready to roll with that.

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    There’s a theme of health, healing and transformation in your chart for this month, with a number of planets gathering in this area of your chart, including a beautiful healing new moon on the 6th. New moons are always about new beginnings in store, so watch for ways this happens with health and wellbeing in weeks to come. From 20th the sun moves into your relationship chart, and a partnership focused full moon on 21st is about union and reunion; a theme that is mirrored through the alignment of Venus and Mars at the same time. Meanwhile, Uranus in your trust and intimacy chart is about breaking habits and routines to deepen trust and intimacy.

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    March is about a whole new era beginning for significant relationships, in all areas of life. Uranus, planet of change and revolution, is in your partnership chart from the 6th for the next 8 years, which means powerful change for the purpose of becoming more authentic in relationship; more true to self as a partner. It’s also about being with those who are interested in this, in themselves and from you. Also on that day there’s a new moon about romance and matters of the heart. It’s about new reasons emerging in weeks to come to blatantly fall in love with love and suspend disbelief in living happily ever after.

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    Planet Uranus is about shaking and breaking away from old routines and habits that hinder our true nature and authentic self and Uranus is in your health and wellbeing chart from 6th, for the next 8 years. So it’s a great time to start making some healthful lifestyle changes; especially as there’s a soulful new moon on the same day all about going with the flow of new comfort zones. Mercury retrograde all month is about reunion, reconnection and revisiting the past, in ways that update what was to where you are now. Then the equinox full moon on 21st is about finding balance, fairness and justice, especially among friends.

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    The new moon (6th) is about new information or communication you’ve been waiting for. Uranus is the planet that shakes us out of stuck patterns, and pushes us to the new and untried paths, and this is happening strongly in March in the realm of creativity and romance, so there’s no hiding in old habits or ruts anymore. Midmonth and full moon time (21st) is a good time for breakthroughs on this, so If you can make peace with the idea that some communication (yours and others) might be unclear, or undefined at times (especially around 5th and 24th), then it’s otherwise be a good month with plenty to amuse you.

  • Aquarius

    Your ruler planet is freedom-loving Uranus, which returns to your home and family chart on the 6th. A magical new moon in your money and resources chart happens on same day, so it might feel like money appears out of the blue or disappears into thin air this month, but also there’s the idea of important new beginnings for home and family, for example with a new home or new family members. The equinox sun moves into your communication chart from 20th, followed closely by a full moon in your faith and belief chart on 21st, meaning you’re moved by injustice to speak your truth more boldly and directly than ever on certain situations.