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The Crack Magazine

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Monologues Of Shite by Emily Cullen

This highly amusing book of cartoons could be filed under the heading ‘good things that happened because of Covid-19’ (without wishing to make light of the global pandemic that  horrifically impacted on millions of lives). Monologues Of Shite is very funny indeed. It documents Cullen’s life during the first lockdown, when circumstances dictated she return to her parental home in Leeds for a few months, and she made good use of her suddenly available endless time by drawing and documenting the rants, musings and squabbles that emanated daily from her Irish parents, Leo and Mary. It’s dad Leo who steals the show here, a man after my own heart, who blames drivers pulling in front of him without indicating on ‘“that Brexit”; despairs at people showing him photographs of their meals (“why the fuck wid you be proud of just eatin’ something?”); and dismisses at-work racists with the short shrift they undoubtedly deserve (“I looked at him and told him ‘yer a fucking idiot.’”). But it’s not all just sketches of one man raging at the world. There are also (heavily potato-based) recipes, followed rapidly by spectacular rows about said recipes that end with the ingredients getting lashed into the bin; an explanation of why former striking miners might not want to join in with the queen’s jubilee celebrations; and Leo’s highly valid opinion that Boris Johnson claims Winston Churchill is his favourite englishman for purely cynical, vote-winning reasons. It’s been a turbo-grim couple of years for most of us, but Monologues Of Shite a) cheered me right up, and b) reminded me that there are still righteous people out there kicking against the pricks, and being as funny as fuck while they do it. ES


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