Our Crack Little Crack
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Ted Cruz
After watching the utter farce of Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial, it is now obvious to me where the Kray Twins went wrong.
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Street Patrol
I managed to get through ‘Dry January’ without too much difficulty this year. The only alcohol I permitted myself was when I was cooking.
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What's Your Favourite Nun Film?
What is your favourite nun film? ‘Nuns on the Run’, ‘Sister Act’ or that grand Reverend Mother of all nun films, ‘The Sound of Music’.
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January Is Dismal
Show me a person who says, “You know what! January is my favourite month!” and I’ll show you a person who needs chasing with an enormous butterfly net
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Albums Of The Year
A request has flooded in asking us to nominate our Top Ten Albums of the Year, so, in a flush of seasonal goodwill, here you go:
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Duggie
I’ve got a friend called Duggie. (I say “friend”, it would probably be more accurate to call him “one of those people you once got chatting to in a bar but now try to avoid li...
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Celebrity Deaths
My girlfriend works for the NHS. (You can stop clapping; she does admin and is about as much at risk as Donald Trump was during the Vietnam War.)
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Four Seasons Total Landscaping
The news that Trump’s team mistakenly booked Four Seasons Total Landscaping – an out-of-town garden centre in Philadelphia sandwiched between a crematorium and a shop flogging...
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Nothing But Christmas Films
I’ve done it! I’ve finally completed one of my lifelong ambitions. On Saturday I had a 24-hour TV marathon where I watched nothing but Christmas films!
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I see that Trump has managed to solve Covid
I see that Trump has managed to solve Covid. Apparently if you catch it you must not let it “dominate” you.
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I'm Talking Royalists, Brexit Voters, Boris Lovers...
Before the current spate of lockdowns came into effect, I had cause to meet up with members of my family
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I’ve got an affliction that I don’t know the name of
How does it manifest itself? Well, I have a peculiar need to make others feel smug about themselves at my own expense.
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Poundshop Braveheart
Whenever anyone threatens to show me something on Facebook, you can actually see my whole body wilt. I look like an empty packet of Monster Munch that’s been put in the oven.
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