Our Crack Little Crack
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I’ve got an affliction that I don’t know the name of
How does it manifest itself? Well, I have a peculiar need to make others feel smug about themselves at my own expense.
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Poundshop Braveheart
Whenever anyone threatens to show me something on Facebook, you can actually see my whole body wilt. I look like an empty packet of Monster Munch that’s been put in the oven.
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The Godfather
I watched ‘The Godfather’ again over the weekend and something about it bothered me: the horse’s head in the bed scene.
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Bob Ross
I hope that everyone has been catching up with the God-like Bob Ross on BBC 4 each evening.
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Boozers
I loved how the BBC website reported the opening of pubs last Friday. They said that: “Pubs can’t open...
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Latest Update On My Hair
Latest update on my hair. The best way I can describe it is to imagine a dog, a Cocker Spaniel, say, but one that has been neglected.
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Clap For Boris
The whole ClapForBoris thing got a bit confused, didn’t it?
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Understatement of the Year
I was standing in the queue in Morrisons on Thursday and the two blokes in front of me were chatting.
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Panic Buying
I wouldn’t call myself a panic buyer, per se, but I am panic-buy-curious.
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Face Touching
I pulled a nose hair out last week and was horrified to discover that it was nearly an inch long AND completely white. Gross!
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"Mad" Mike Hughes
How was your weekend? I spent mine mentally undressing my favourite politicians from history. If I’m being perfectly honest I wish I hadn’t bothered.
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The Stranger
I’ve just finished watching the worst TV series I’ve seen in a good while so if you want to avoid spoilers for ‘The Stranger’ on Netflix then look away now.
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Romance
It was Valentine’s weekend and my brother-in-law was in the mood to talk romance. “Have you ever had a threesome?” he asked.
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