Our Crack Little Crack
80 Pounds Worth of Explosives
I hate those ‘Baby Sex Parties’. Do you know the ones I’m talking about? The ones that see an insufferably smug couple gather together a load of mates to tell them whether the...
Working On A Novel
I spent the last lockdown working on a novel, which, I hope, will become the first in a long-running series
I had my first Covid vaccination last week
Needless to say, it didn’t go entirely to plan. When I got there, there was a queue of around 30 to 40 people outside – everyone spaced a good few yards apart
Did you read about the piece of artwork that was sold for $69.3 million recently? It was by someone called Beeple and it only exists digitally as an NFT (or non-fungible token...
I'm Thinking About Getting A Tattoo
I’m thinking about getting a tattoo. Let me rephrase that: I’m not ACTUALLY thinking about getting a tattoo.
After watching the utter farce of Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial, it is now obvious to me where the Kray Twins went wrong.
I managed to get through ‘Dry January’ without too much difficulty this year. The only alcohol I permitted myself was when I was cooking.
What's Your Favourite Nun Film?
What is your favourite nun film? ‘Nuns on the Run’, ‘Sister Act’ or that grand Reverend Mother of all nun films, ‘The Sound of Music’.
January Is Dismal
Show me a person who says, “You know what! January is my favourite month!” and I’ll show you a person who needs chasing with an enormous butterfly net
Albums Of The Year
A request has flooded in asking us to nominate our Top Ten Albums of the Year, so, in a flush of seasonal goodwill, here you go:
I’ve got a friend called Duggie. (I say “friend”, it would probably be more accurate to call him “one of those people you once got chatting to in a bar but now try to avoid li...
My girlfriend works for the NHS. (You can stop clapping; she does admin and is about as much at risk as Donald Trump was during the Vietnam War.)
Four Seasons Total Landscaping
The news that Trump’s team mistakenly booked Four Seasons Total Landscaping – an out-of-town garden centre in Philadelphia sandwiched between a crematorium and a shop flogging...