Our Crack Little Crack

• 

  Ted Cruz

  After watching the utter farce of Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial, it is now obvious to me where the Kray Twins went wrong.

  • Read More >
• 

  Street Patrol

  I managed to get through ‘Dry January’ without too much difficulty this year. The only alcohol I permitted myself was when I was cooking.

  • Read More >
• 

  What's Your Favourite Nun Film?

  What is your favourite nun film? ‘Nuns on the Run’, ‘Sister Act’ or that grand Reverend Mother of all nun films, ‘The Sound of Music’.

  • Read More >
• 

  January Is Dismal

  Show me a person who says, “You know what! January is my favourite month!” and I’ll show you a person who needs chasing with an enormous butterfly net

  • Read More >
• 

  Albums Of The Year

  A request has flooded in asking us to nominate our Top Ten Albums of the Year, so, in a flush of seasonal goodwill, here you go:

  • Read More >
• 

  Duggie

  I’ve got a friend called Duggie. (I say “friend”, it would probably be more accurate to call him “one of those people you once got chatting to in a bar but now try to avoid li...

  • Read More >
• 

  Celebrity Deaths

  My girlfriend works for the NHS. (You can stop clapping; she does admin and is about as much at risk as Donald Trump was during the Vietnam War.)

  • Read More >
• 

  Four Seasons Total Landscaping

  The news that Trump’s team mistakenly booked Four Seasons Total Landscaping – an out-of-town garden centre in Philadelphia sandwiched between a crematorium and a shop flogging...

  • Read More >
• 

  Nothing But Christmas Films

  I’ve done it! I’ve finally completed one of my lifelong ambitions. On Saturday I had a 24-hour TV marathon where I watched nothing but Christmas films!

  • Read More >
• 

  I see that Trump has managed to solve Covid

  I see that Trump has managed to solve Covid. Apparently if you catch it you must not let it “dominate” you.

  • Read More >
• 

  I'm Talking Royalists, Brexit Voters, Boris Lovers...

  Before the current spate of lockdowns came into effect, I had cause to meet up with members of my family

  • Read More >
• 

  I’ve got an affliction that I don’t know the name of

  How does it manifest itself? Well, I have a peculiar need to make others feel smug about themselves at my own expense.

  • Read More >
• 

  Poundshop Braveheart

  Whenever anyone threatens to show me something on Facebook, you can actually see my whole body wilt. I look like an empty packet of Monster Munch that’s been put in the oven.

  • Read More >