Our Crack Little Crack
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Celebrity Deaths
My girlfriend works for the NHS. (You can stop clapping; she does admin and is about as much at risk as Donald Trump was during the Vietnam War.)
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Four Seasons Total Landscaping
The news that Trump’s team mistakenly booked Four Seasons Total Landscaping – an out-of-town garden centre in Philadelphia sandwiched between a crematorium and a shop flogging...
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Nothing But Christmas Films
I’ve done it! I’ve finally completed one of my lifelong ambitions. On Saturday I had a 24-hour TV marathon where I watched nothing but Christmas films!
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I see that Trump has managed to solve Covid
I see that Trump has managed to solve Covid. Apparently if you catch it you must not let it “dominate” you.
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I'm Talking Royalists, Brexit Voters, Boris Lovers...
Before the current spate of lockdowns came into effect, I had cause to meet up with members of my family
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I’ve got an affliction that I don’t know the name of
How does it manifest itself? Well, I have a peculiar need to make others feel smug about themselves at my own expense.
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Poundshop Braveheart
Whenever anyone threatens to show me something on Facebook, you can actually see my whole body wilt. I look like an empty packet of Monster Munch that’s been put in the oven.
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The Godfather
I watched ‘The Godfather’ again over the weekend and something about it bothered me: the horse’s head in the bed scene.
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Bob Ross
I hope that everyone has been catching up with the God-like Bob Ross on BBC 4 each evening.
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Boozers
I loved how the BBC website reported the opening of pubs last Friday. They said that: “Pubs can’t open...
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Latest Update On My Hair
Latest update on my hair. The best way I can describe it is to imagine a dog, a Cocker Spaniel, say, but one that has been neglected.
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Clap For Boris
The whole ClapForBoris thing got a bit confused, didn’t it?
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Understatement of the Year
I was standing in the queue in Morrisons on Thursday and the two blokes in front of me were chatting.
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