Stop what you’re doing right now and take yourself off to buy some tickets for ‘Latrines Christmas Haus of Fun’, which is coming to Cobalt Studios in Newcastle this December. It’ll literally be the best thing you do all year.

I love the days in the run-up to Christmas. There’s a sense of giddiness in the air as you hurtle around the shops and sundry parties, wondering if you’ve overdressed for the shops and undressed for the parties. I can’t point you in the direction of the best shops to visit if you need to grab a last-minute present for your awful uncle Martin, but I can point you in the direction of one of the best parties to attend in the shape of ‘Latrines Christmas Haus of Fun’, which will be lighting up Cobalt Studios in Newcastle once again in the run-up to the big day. This will be their third Christmas party and you’re invited to join their cast of extraordinary north-east queer performers as they re-tell ‘A Christmas Carol’ in their own special way. Can you expect singing, dancing, merriment and all the usual high-jinx? Yes, you ruddy well can…!

Latrines Christmas Haus of Fun, Saturday 20 December, Cobalt Studios, Newcastle, 7pm, from £8, cobaltstudios.co.uk