President in chief, president of war, president of murder, president of racism, sexism, homophobia and lies. President of American fascism. “Unhinged madman”. Failed businessman. Successful nonce. President of any epithet you care to use. European vote loser. Middle Eastern war criminal. Domestic terrorist. Hated by most, loved by few. A future stain in the history books. Seemingly an unstoppable agent of chaos, all balances and checks either removed or gamed in his favour. A democratic enemy using democracy for his own nefarious ends. Shit stirrer and back stabber, who leaders, kings and businessmen still seem to need to meet, unaware that they will then become damaged goods in their own countries. But what can the world do with an absolute child (no offence to the children who may be reading this column), a spoiled brat, who doesn’t understand the word no. Who gets all the toys he wants. Human toys, business toys, military toys, toys of destruction and death. Toys of whatever provenance, nevertheless, made to be thrown out of his presidential pram any time he sees fit. It’s a pity that the one toy he never gets bored of is the social media toy, bane of modern-day life. He’s addicted like every incel in the manosphere. His finger ever pounding the bullied buttons of his phone. A constant stream of self-praise, brags, absolute whoppers, threats and offence. Who cares about banning kids under the age of sixteen, what about banning presidents over the age of seventy-five? Most people would be arrested for the stuff he posts on social media but like a slippery mafia don he’s beyond the arm of the law. Although he’s committed worse crimes than being a menace on social media. Your honour, can we please ignore murder, war crimes and many alleged sexual assaults? American justice, a contradiction in terms, a total joke. Hold on there a minute Snapper! Since when has American justice ever applied to the kleptocratic, millionaire class? Never has, never will. Which brings me to the question, what on earth are we going to do with a problem like Trump? Either the world ignores him or takes him on. Statesmanship doesn’t work. Stealing dollars from his pocket will. Matching tariff for tariff. Calling out his lies. Treating him like the nasty piece of work he is and not kowtowing to his every whim and fancy. Will that be enough to stop him?

Maybe like every right-wing psychopath he’ll be brought down by his own supporters who’ll tire of his strange contradictions, power plays and lack of coolness under pressure. The storming of his offices by the badly suited and booted, the look of surprise at the stab in the front delivered by someone like JD Vance (et tu, JD?) who in his Machiavellian cunning and desperate desire for power, may well be a chip off the old Trump block, but in Trump’s absence, maybe many people in the world will have peace again.