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Our Crack Little Crack

keegantat.jpg I'm Thinking About Getting A Tattoo
 

I’m thinking about getting a tattoo. Let me rephrase that: I’m not ACTUALLY thinking about getting a tattoo. And the reason I’m not ACTUALLY thinking about getting a tattoo is the same reason that I don’t pull on the same hat each morning. I like the hat, but I don’t want it to every single day of my life. However! I do fancy some kind of change this year; something that screams “Brand New Me!”; something that will alter how people see me in general. (And – let’s face it – something that doesn’t involve sharp needles puncturing my skin and defacing me forever.) In short: I’m changing my name. It’s true! I actually think it’s strange that more people don’t. Imagine if you introduced yourself to someone as Brad Bullhorn. They'd think you were an American! (Sidebar: I wonder why Americans don’t have proper names. Chip! Mitt! Rip! They’re not names - they’re sound-effects in the Beano.) But think about it: if you change your name, you change your whole vibe. Me? I’ve always wanted people to think that I was some kind of cool drummer from an esoteric three-piece jazz combo. To that end, I have requested that my friends now start calling me by my new name. That’s Chilly Pigeons, to you.