< Back to results
Our Crack Little Crack
After watching the utter farce of Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial, it is now obvious to me where the Kray Twins went wrong. Instead of being judged by an impartial group of men and women, they should have insisted that their Old Bailey jury was made up of cowering associates. Of course, one of Trump’s most cowering of associates has been much in the news lately: Ted Cruz. On balance, I think Cruz is probably the most abject individual in the US. When he vied with Trump to become the Republican nominee, Trump subjected him to a stream of grammatically tragic invective, and even posted a picture of his own wife alongside Ted’s, the implication being: I’ve got the hottest wife; I’m best. Cruz didn’t take these insults lying down. He actually stood up. He then stripped off; he then pulled on a mini-skirt and got himself the biggest pair of pom-poms he could find. In short: he became Trump’s biggest cheerleader. Anyway. Last week, Texas – the state Cruz is senator for – was undergoing a power failure crisis, with millions of people being left without heat or light. It was at this juncture that Ted chose to attempt a moonlight flit to Cancún in Mexico with his family. When he was rumbled, he offered up the explanation: “Our girls asked to take a trip with friends. Wanting to be a good dad, I flew down with them last night.” I’ve got a feeling that Cancún is going to become the US equivalent of Barnard Castle.