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Four Seasons Total Landscaping
The news that Trump’s team mistakenly booked Four Seasons Total
Landscaping – an out-of-town garden centre in Philadelphia sandwiched
between a crematorium and a shop flogging discounted dildos – instead of
The Four Seasons (one of Philadelphia’s classier hotels) was too
delightful for words. As a fitting coda to his chaotic presidency it
was, as I believe our American chums call it, a real doozy. The fact
that they still went ahead with the press conference (IN THE CAR PARK OF
A GARDEN CENTRE!) provided me with the biggest laugh since his
administration tried to force Denmark to sell them Greenland. (Highlight
of said conference: Rudy Giuliani: “Which news agency has called the
election for Biden?” Reporter: “All of them.”) At the time of writing
Trump still hasn’t conceding defeat (note: I’m writing this on 10
November, 2024), and I’m hoping he goes into meltdown mode. I’m not
talking
about ranting and raving on Twitter, either. I’m talking full-on Jack
Nicolson in The Shining. Imagine him lurching around The White House
with an axe screaming, “Here’s Trumpy!” Make it pay-per-view and all the
money raised can go to the treasury to pay them back for all the tax
he’s dodged over the years.
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