< Back to results

Our Crack Little Crack

santamuscles.jpg Nothing But Christmas Films
 

I’ve done it! I’ve finally completed one of my lifelong ambitions. On Saturday I had a 24-hour TV marathon where I watched nothing but Christmas films! Since September (SEPTEMBER!) the ‘Sony Movies Christmas’ channel (channel 424 on Virgin, 319 on Sky, and 50 on Freeview) have been screening made-for-TV festive films (from the US) around the clock. I tuned in from 6am and worked my way through (deep breath): The Christmas Wife, Elf-Man, The Nine Lives of Christmas, Alone For Christmas, 12 Dog Days Till Christmas, A Dogwalker’s Christmas, Christmas with Tucker, The Christmas Shepherd, Christmas Lodge, Santa Claws, The Case For Christmas and Santa with Muscles (starring Hulk Hogan!). Each and every one of them was rated 2-stars by the Radio Times, except Elf-Man, which they rated 1-star (and boy, did it have to work hard for that solitary star). I lasted the course by making a huge batch of my signature dish – several tubs of Ben & Jerry’s Caramel Chew Chew with Sainsbury’s triple choc cookies crumbled over the top. What did I learn? Well, if you have two Tesla cars parked up in your driveway, a kitchen the size of a country pub car-park, and you’re white, then, come Christmas Day, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE JUST DANDY!