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Our Crack Little Crack

shopempty.jpg Understatement of the Year
 

I was standing in the queue in Morrisons on Thursday and the two blokes in front of me were chatting. One of them said: “How come there’s no kitchen rolls left?” His mate said: “I think there’s something going round.” Something going round! Where’s that trophy for ‘Understatement Of The Year’? I only popped in to buy a newspaper. They had nine Guardians left so I bought them all, just in case there was a shortage later on in the week (and, hey, the Guardian is so full of centrist clap-trap these days, I don’t mind using it for toilet roll). They didn’t have any fresh fruit or veg left but they did have a load of sports bras, so, you know, swings and roundabouts (I bought five). This might be the last Little Crack for a while – everything is up in the air at the minute – but, in the words of Arnie in that unforgettable cinematic quote: “We’ll return!” (It’s “I’ll be back” – ed.)