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Our Crack Tongue & Groove

batman20.jpg What fresh hell is this?

DC Comics are opening a restaurant in London later this year. Holy WTF, Batman?

I’m not a big fan of restaurants, but that’s largely down to my fear of mispronouncing the word ‘jus’. There’s a level of pretension involved in eating out, which, in the worst offenders, comes with a side order of wanky (a side order that you didn’t realise you would be paying extra for, until you got the bill). This new superhero eaterie in London appears to be doubling down on the very notion of wanky. “The restaurant will be rooted within the DC Multiverse,” their press release burbles, “taking visitors on a culinary adventure through the many fictional universes famous for their superhero residents such as Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman.” Where do you start with that? I’d rather visit a restaurant rooted in egg and chips, done one way, than somewhere inspired by the DC “Multiverse” (which is a word that sticks in my throat more than chlorinated chicken). The 18,000 square foot, 330-seat venue will include three bars and five restaurants, one of which will be The Monarch Theatre, a £120-per-head fine dining establishment that promises “a multi-sensory tasting menu” and “projection mapping technology that explores the psychology of heroism through food”. In the comics (sorry, multiverse) the Monarch Theatre is where Bruce Wayne’s parents get murdered and, I don’t know about you, but nothing says orphaned child to me quite like a multi-sensory tasting menu. I’m not sure if the Joker will be front of house, but I suspect not. I’ll wager he’s confined to the back office writing sentences like: “explores the psychology of heroism through food.”