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Our Crack Little Crack

bigben.jpg Piffle

I was shocked – shocked, I tell you! – when something Boris Johnson said last week turned out to have been a made-up-on-the-hoof, complete load of piffle. I am talking, of course, about his ‘Bung a Bob for Big Ben’ wheeze, where he indicated that the general public could chip money into a crowdfunder website so Big Ben could ring out when we leave the EU later this month. I’m gutted that this no longer appears to be happening. And it’s not because I want to hear those bongs sound a death knell for the evil mandarins of Brussels who remain fully intent on banning our bendy bananas. No, it’s because such a crowdfunder website – proudly displaying all the names of everyone who contributed – would have been a handy, cut-out-and-keep guide, to the world’s biggest idiots. The Daily Express, as is their wont, are not happy. They’re blaming arch-remainers for putting the kibosh on the scheme (watch out for a ‘Crush the Bong Saboteurs!’ headline later this week). Still, I believe the government are going to mark the occasion by beaming a countdown clock onto Tory MP Mark Francois’ huge gut. So at least there will be some kind of massive bell still involved.