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Our Crack Tongue & Groove

chrisxmas.jpg What fresh hell is this?

The football pundit Chris Kamara has just released an album called ‘Here’s To Christmas’. Here’s to January, I say.

So, then. The Chris Kamara Christmas album. At last. I’d usually be tempted to use the phrase “cash in” at this point but I’d be hard pressed to think how ‘Here’s To Christmas’ will make any cash for anyone. It’s literally an album featuring the former Brentford and Leeds journeyman footballer turned Sky pundit, literally singing ‘Let It Snow’ and ‘Santa Baby’. I mean, quite literally. Interestingly however, he’s put his own spin on the aforementioned songs as well as other yuletide standards such as ‘Santa Claus Is Coming To Town’, ‘Jingle Bells’ and ‘Frosty The Snowman’. Instead of cheesy retreads the former Luton Town man has fed these festive favourites through a whole bunch of electronic whiz-bangery. The resulting avant-garde effect is like listening to music that has been pummelled into very new and very different shapes. It’s like an 8-bit grime/trap mash-up with added sleigh-bells. Only kidding. The former Stoke City man has, in actual fact, lurched towards the first, last and every other refuge that celebrities turn to when embarking on such projects: he’s made a, yep, swing album; a swing album replete with a honking big band (and when I say honking, I mean ab-sol-utelyhonking). As viewers of Sky’s football coverage will tell you, the former Swindon Town man’s catchphrase is “Unbelievable Jeff!” I’ll let you insert your own closing line here.