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Our Crack Little Crack

princeandrew.jpg Would I Lie To You?
 

Memo to Prince Andrew: If you ever get an invite to appear on ‘Would I Lie To You?’ put it in the bin immediately. You’re rubbish at it. Lying that is. I’m not sure what the stupidest lie he told on Friday’s TV interview was but I’m leaning towards the zinger about having to see Jeffrey Epstein - just to tell him that he didn’t want to see him anymore. It’s what paedophiles say when they’re caught by vigilante groups in sting operations (“Yeah, I arranged to meet up with that 14-year-old girl, but that was just to tell her not to meet up with people like me”). Andrew even tried to cast doubt on the veracity of that notorious photograph that was taken of him with his arm around the 17-year-old Virginia Roberts (“It was taken upstairs in Epstein’s house. I’ve never been upstairs in Epstein’s house. That’s how I know what it looks like.”). There was so much stuff that he didn’t remember but, strangely, he seemed to have absolute clarity of thought when it came to going out for a pizza 18 years ago. So much so, that I’m surprised he didn’t relay to us the exact conversation he had with the waiter: “I’ll have the scorpion chilli special with extra jalapeno peppers”, “Just to warn you, Your Royal Highness, that is the world’s hottest pizza”, “Bring it on, baby. I’ve never broken sweat since 1982.”