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Our Crack Tongue & Groove

trottersvan.jpg What fresh hell is this?

Imagine Only Fools and Horses live, but worse, and with food. Brace yourself for ‘Only Fools and 3 Courses’.

To be fair to the people behind ‘Only Fools and 3 Courses’ I don’t think I’m their target audience. I’m one of those awkward buggers who wouldn’t appreciate someone bellowing “Rodney! You plonker!” in my ear when I’m trying to tuck into my melon and prosciutto starter. But that’s just me. Their blurb states: “Marlene and Boycie are hosting a Gala Dinner, but will things go to plan with Del, Rodney and Uncle Albert (“when I was in the war”) on the guest list”. (Point of order: Uncle Albert’s catchphrase was: “During the war…” If they can’t even get that right then what else will they get wrong? Del repeatedly yelling: “Lovely bubbly”? Trigger calling Rodney “Rodney”?) They go on to state that the evening will consist of: “Chaos and mayhem with an extra large portion of comedy.” I don’t know about you but the words “chaos” and “mayhem” are not something I’d ever associate with a successful night out, especially one consisting of an evening meal. As I say, it’s not for me, but then again I’m not exactly sure whoit is aimed at. If you’re a big fan of the show then wouldn’t you just get annoyed at these am-dram types messing up all your favourite lines? And if you’re not, imagine having to put up with a bunch of Cockneys mugging their way around your table while you’re trying to tuck into a chicken vindaloo. That’s not a dining experience. That’s Dante’s Seventh Circle of Hell.