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Our Crack Tongue & Groove

moncleurdaft.jpg What fresh hell is this?

This – what is it? A cagoule? – is daft enough as it stands but it reaches a whole new layer of stupid when you check out the price tag: £1,710.

Earlier this year I was in Fenwick and for the first time in my life I actually touched an item of clothing that cost more than £1000. It was a Burberry coat and it weighed in at something just shy of £1200. It wasn’t very nice – basically a flasher’s mac with a nicer lining – but, you know, it was Burberry, design favourite of counterfeiters, braying rahs and football hooligans across the UK. Of course, picking up a bit of designer wear and then getting a good laugh at the attached price tag is easier than shooting fish in a barrel (poking a bee in a thimble?): witness the recent furore when Prada released what was, for all intents and purposes, a plain white t-shirt (yours for literally three hundred and fifty quid). But there is something especially berserk about this – what is it? A parka? – from Moncler. It’s part of the – according to their blurb – “Moncler Genius Project” which – again, according to their blurb, which I’ve read and reread to make sure I’m not seeing things – “seems to come directly from a future made of new dimensions”. (Presumably these new dimensions are totally unrelated to the shape of any humans currently walking the earth today.) Someone somewhere must be buying these – what are they? Collapsible children’s play tents? – but at £1,710 a pop, I’ve yet to spot any in my local Wetherspoon’s.