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Our Crack Little Crack

knittedElviswig.jpg Little Crack watched a TV

programme about sewing the other day. They tried to make a drama of a concealed zip. There are baking programmes too, which are moderately compelling as they involve cake. Kirstie Allsopp goes a plummy step too far with bits of tat, buttons and ribbons, icing and floristry, candles.  In the real world, also known as Newcastle city centre, there’s an entire shop dedicated to selling Cath Kidston’s crafty crud. Sometimes, Little Crack goes in there to snarl at people. What does all this twee creativity and cosy homemaking mean?  Call us nuts but we think people are trying to fill a gaping hole with scatter cushions and homemade brooches. The hole is alienation. They would like to connect with other people who don’t live in the internet or the telly. Our theory (which we crocheted out of spun-sugar this morning) is that people wish they could be pals with next door but one. They crave a familiarity, a continuity that only comes with knowing the people who live around you, and who have lived around you for decades. We think they’re nostalgic for a past most of them never knew and getting twee is the only way they know of emulating it. In fact, we might embroider that sentence on a sampler right now.