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Our Crack Tongue & Groove

reebokhell.jpg What fresh hell is this?

Reebok have just released a pair of trainers that pays homage to their ‘Belly’s Gonna Get Ya’ TV advert from the year 2000, thus plugging the world’s smallest ever gap in the market.

Imagine being tasked with unveiling new concepts for training shoes, year in, year out. It can’t be easy but Adidas seems to have struck gold by roping in celebs to give their products a sheen of cool as most popularly seen with their Kanye West designed Yeezy range (and I’m using the word ‘designed’ here in the same spirit that Katie Price does when she talks about ‘writing’ her series of novels).

Sure, those Yeezy trainers may look like something my granny wore in the 1980s when she trundled along to the supermarket with her shopping trolly, but you can’t deny their success, with queues of, what I can only describe as “idiots”, forming outside of shops when the latest model is set to launch. But surely even the idiots won’t be getting in line for Reebok’s latest range.

It’s based on their ‘Belly’s Gonna Get Ya’ turn of the century TV ad that featured a stereotypical pub-lad legging it through town while being pursued by a huge beer gut, which actually looked like an unsightly testicle/buttock hybrid. The resulting trainer is suitably hideous – all (white) fleshy tones and denim - and it has reinforced my belief that when it comes to all things Reebok, we should take our cue from Ali G, another fixture on our TV screens back in the year 2000. He memorably commented: “We’ve just got time to update you on the Telethon thing. Reebok has offered 40,000 pairs of trainers to give to the Third World and there’s only one thing to say to that: Reebok! Come off it! It ain’t 1991! They may be poor but they ain’t desperate!”