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Our Crack Little Crack

penguins.jpg Overinflated Parental Pride

Little Crack has long been the embarrassed subject of overinflated parental pride. Our parents have always found solid reasons to brag liberally about our stand-out achievements. Age 15: “Little Crack used a cash point today.” Age 20: “Little Crack has always liked fruit.” Age 33: “Little Crack managed to stay in that relationship for seven months, including a depressingly cold February.” Now that all our friends are birthing left, right and centre, it seems cruel that we now have to tolerate the other side of the parental bragging equation, constantly forced to listen to crap about how their children are reaching predictable developmental milestones, well within the limits of averageness. We’ve taken to saying flatly and clearly, as though we were speaking to the small child itself, in fact: “That’s a very mediocre achievement that humans have been making for millennia. Please stop this.”