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Queer Editorial

karlbrides.jpg Blusher: Here comes the bride…?

The Government has finally agreed that gay people should be allowed to get married. And not just in godless civil ceremonies either, but in actual religious buildings like churches and synagogues. It’s almost as though they think we’re normal

The catch is that we all have to wear rainbow wedding dresses. All of us. Men, women, brides, grooms, guests, pets. Everyone must wear a synthetic meringue frock which starts in red at the top and goes through orange, yellow, green and blue, and ends with violet shoes.

However, not all religious leaders are happy about this change. The Church of England and Roman Catholics are aghast at the idea, claiming that the very definition of marriage depends on there being seven colours in the rainbow, not six, as homosexuals claim.

To appease these denominations, the Government has created a curious law which means that it will actually be illegal to display six-colour rainbows in those churches. But even that’s not enough for some, who seem to have forgotten about the marriage issue and are now angry that the very definition of a rainbow is in question. What is a rainbow, they argue, if not a natural phenomena created by God Himself to show us all the colours of the world? Except that there is no neon pink or slurry brown in a rainbow, which proves that God is fallible or perhaps just plain forgot about those colours. And who needs another forgetful unreliable old man at a wedding? So thanks very much for the offer Mr Cameron, but I for one will pass on the religious wedding.