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Our Crack Snapper

s30.jpg Snapper

It’s been a funny old year. Well, maybe not so funny, as people have lost their jobs, been flooded out, been beaten up and abused in care homes and have had to watch the NHS slowly dismantled/privatised. Meanwhile ‘our’ coalition government spoke with forked tongue every time it opened its mouth to remind us that times weren’t so bad and that jobs were ten a penny. Consequently it’s not been too much fun being Snapper as most of my columns this year had a go at most of the aforementioned and provided very few laughs in recompense. What to do? How in the face of economic and social gimcrackery, global mismanagement and fiddling while Athens burnt am I to swing this column back into the land of, if not milk and honey, then at least one that may give the odd reader the chance to crack a smile rather than open a vein. Maybe I need to get back on the happy pills, or get the crates of White Lightning in for those nights when the deadline loomed and I scratched my head about how far I wanted to venture into the social, political and economic mire again. Maybe I should have avoided the trough and headed instead into the shallow puddles of celebrity stuff and puffery and honed in on Kristen Stewart’s dysfunctional relationships or how the phenomenon that was Fifty Shades of Grey could have made me a more erect member of a certain kind of society, and provided proof to me that reading wasn’t necessarily a sign of good taste or intellect. There was delight to be had, of course, in the fingering of a few disc jockeys from my youth who made listening to the radio such an unpleasantly crass experience (permanently damaging my relationship to radio to this day). Delight too in the travails of the South Yorkshire police and their ‘policing’ of Hillsborough and Orgreave. Suddenly old school policing wasn’t such a joke a la Life on Mars and more of a life changer than many bent old coppers would have us believe. And, of course, let’s not let this year pass without remembering the cabinet exit of Baroness Warsi and the political exit of Louise Mensch, rent-a-mouth Tories whose main aim seemed to be winding up pinko communists like me. Now, if Michael Gove can follow them out the exit door in 2013 I will be a very happy pinko communist indeed. In fact, it would be lovely in 2013 to report the death of the collation, the provision of (well paid) full-time jobs for all and a huge tax rise for anyone earning over 100k a year, but maybe we can’t have everything we wish for. Which just leaves me to say to all the Snappers and Snapperettes out there in Crackland, hope you all have a happy Christmas and a peaceful and prosperous new year.