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Our Crack Tongue & Groove

whatfreshcameron.jpg What fresh hell is this?

It’s tough slagging off anything that is put out there for “a good cause” but in the case of the Official World War I Centenary Album, anything less than a slagging would be a total dereliction of duty.

It seems that The Royal British Legion and the Victoria Cross Trust want to mark 100 years since the beginning of World War I and are doing so by releasing an album. Fair enough, you might think, that could be tastefully done if they got, say, The Central Band of The Royal British Legion to knock out some relevant tunes (which they have), and, maybe, ask some descendants of World War I Victoria Cross heroes to record a version of John McCrae’s In Flanders Fields (which they have). All well and good; but what, in the name of God, possessed them to rope in a random bunch of celebrities to also stick their incongruous oars in? Stephen Fry – I can just about take – but Sarah Millican? She’s great if you want to hear a filthy joke about cunnilingus, but she wouldn’t be my go-to person to read Amy Lowell’s haunting sonnet, From One Who Stays. Other celebs upping the WTF? quota are Sean Bean, John Thomson and Prime Minister David Cameron, who, unfortunately won’t be duetting with Danny Dyer. Danny Dyer? Yep, he’s also on board and I would have loved to have sat in on the meeting where the organisers thought it would be a good idea to invite the former Zoo magazine columnist and presenter of Danny Dyer’s Deadliest Men to perform a piece. Presumably he’ll be reading something from his own epic cycle, War Is Proper Naughty And If You Try And Mug Me Off Then You’ll Be Getting A Right Good Slap.