When The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are in town, you drop what you’re doing and hustle hustle hustle to the ticket office. They’re playing The Forum in Darlington this December.

The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican don’t do subtle. I mean, just look at that knitwear. But what they do, they do with passion, and that passion takes the form of musical parodies that have found huge favour with their army of fans who have grown year on year since they formed in Barnsley in 2006. They take other people’s songs and give them a Bar-Steward twist, which means their back catalogue is littered with classics such as ‘How Deep Is Your Glove?’ and ‘The Lady in Greggs?’ (think: the ‘Lady in the Red’ but with lyrics that include: “Nivver had a BLT taste as gorgeous as it did tonight / Tonsils tingling with savo’ry delight…”). The band have eleven studio albums to their name and they’ve also had the distinction of having six different beers brewed and named in their honour by four different breweries – even Taylor Swift can’t boast that. If there’s a perfect time to see them, then it’s the run up to Christmas and I expect this gig to be a real party and a half. GM

The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican, Saturday 14 December, The Forum, Darlington, £20, theforumonline.co.uk