Our Crack Little Crack
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Sometimes, in a different guise, Little Crack must interview people over the phone about their unexamined lives and write up slathering gibberish about why they’re so brillian...
Nine tenths of the law
Today Little Crack acted in an unnecessarily anarchic way in a Tesco Metro. Finding ourselves parched after a weekend-long drinking spree, we’d popped in for a bottle of water...
The shadow of a trouser
Yesterday, Little Crack’s flatmate, who works for a large faceless corporation manufacturing misery on an industrial scale a mile outside town, told us how her daily pissing h...
Little Crack’s (little) goat
Little Crack knows there’s much that’s trying about Facebook and social media more widely.
Beware all those shopping for hamster food or fish tank ornaments in Newcastle this Saturday.
Scuttled like rats
On Saturday afternoon, wandering with a friend in Newcastle city centre, Friday night’s fug of red wine still blurring our edges, we spotted a group of miscreants, dressed hea...
Can I send it using recorded delivery, please?
Yesterday, Little Crack visited WHSmith, that stalwart of Britishness at its most banal, where people buy their shitty special interest publications and crossword puzzle books...
When you realise the propensity of sentences beginning with when that have no real consequences.
Nothing. The answer is nothing.
Over the last few weeks, Little Crack has heard this vacuous sentiment expressed approximately 17,000 times everywhere from Eldon Square to our kitchen.
It can seem as though life is one terminally extended finger-scroll of doom, death and despair.
Little Crack’s fridge stopped working
Last week the seal on Little Crack’s fridge stopped working. As a source of low-lying, gently simmering anxiety that never quite ceases, a broken fridge seal is hard to beat.
Shedding the trappings of youth
Little Crack expected ageing to be like growing up; a gentle slope carrying us gradually to the next stage.
From a too-hot-to-hold wine glass.
Swigging pre-mulled wine from a too-hot-to-hold wine glass on what can only be described as a balmy bonfire night last week, Little Crack thought ‘God. This is shit.’