Our Crack Little Crack
I went to the pictures on my own last week to see ‘Cold War’, which has won a whole load of five star reviews in every quality publication you’d care to name (as well as The Crack). It wasn’t until the film actually started however, that I realised I’d forgotten my glasses. Big mistake. It’s a subtitled film and I couldn’t read the dialogue. Consequently, I didn’t have a clue what was going on. I stuck it out for 10 minutes but then faced a dilemma. If I got up to leave, everyone in the cinema would think: “Look at that philistine. He obviously didn’t realise that this was a foreign film and he’s walking out because he’s simply not intelligent enough to understand it. Go on! Do one! Go and watch the latest X-Men in the multiplex down the road!” I hummed and harred for another five minutes before deciding to slink away. I considered blurting out, “I’ve forgotten my glasses! I’m intelligent really!” but couldn’t summon up the courage. Needless to say, as soon as I got on the bus to go home, I found my wretched glasses in my coat’s inside pocket. I hate being me sometimes.