< Back to results

Our Crack Tongue & Groove

whatfreshhellisthis0313.jpg What fresh hell is this?
 

“From the catwalks to the high street, now is the time to embrace the Power Brow. For the majority of women, eyebrow style has become a serious part of our everyday beauty routine”. That’s the first line from a press release (read: depress release) that we received recently from a company offering women who hate their faces the chance to look like Parker out of Thunderbirds (pictured). Their website states: “When observing red carpet celebrity eyebrows, such as Megan Fox and Cheryl Cole, we can see that they have perfect definition in their eyebrow shaping”. Point of order: Red carpet celebrity eyebrows? RED CARPET CELEBRITY EYEBROWS? Jesus! How long will it be before celebrity eyebrows are decoupling from their owners entirely in order to appear on chat shows and launch their own perfume? It’s going to happen. Although by the time some poor saps have saved up enough cash in order to be cosmetically altered to look like Noel Gallagher, I’m sure that the Pendulum Of Fash Mag Doom will have swung back once again and women will be instructed to make sure that their faces resemble freshly scrubbed new potatoes. RM