Our Crack Tongue & Groove
What fresh hell is this?
Celebrity endorsements are self evidently ridiculous, my favourite of all time being Brazilian footballer Ronaldinho’s inexplicable approval of a particular brand of photocopier a few years back. David Beckham’s latest collaboration with H&M runs it pretty close in the nonsense stakes, though (their advertising calls it “Bodywear”; everyone else calls it “jogging bottoms”) but there’s a special place in my heart for celebs who attach their names to bottles of perfume. Tulisa once released something called, with wearisome inevitably, “The Female Boss”, while her X-Factor charge, Cher Lloyd, was nominally responsible for “Pink Diamond” (currently on “special” at Asda). Peter Andre has managed to squeeze out a baffling three different scents; while there was surely P45s all round for the marketing gurus who came up with “Calum” by Calum Best. Danielle Steel has her own fragrance (“You’ve read the shitty novels, now smell like their author” the advertising blurb didn’t say); and business guru/human Weetabix dock, Donald Trump, even has his own brand of aftershave (which must surely prompt the query, “Who’s Trumped?” whenever anyone wearing it walks into a room). And now we have “GIRL” by Pharrell Williams. We’ve not road-tested it yet, but given Williams’ schtick, we imagine it will have a distinct whiff of misogyny with subtle top notes of fucking stupid hat.