Our Crack Little Crack
Little Crack watches the Hairy Bikers solely to luxuriate in the feeling of being irritated by them.
Like Normal People
When Little Crack was Littler Crack, every plea in our house was followed by the whinging refrain ‘like normal people’.
Little Crack has recently returned from a holiday with acquaintances.
That’s a chicken that must have had a helluva limp!
If life has taught us anything (it hasn’t), it is to never assume that the contents of another person’s mind in any way resemble the contents of your own.
Little Crack’s wick of ambition had an early burnout.
Rea-lee? Little Crack is alarmed by these two syllables, used as they are nowadays as aural shorthand for knowing wit by people who have none.
Politeness trumps extreme revulsion
Little Crack is not a fan of buffets. Who is? The happy promise of unlimited food is fatally undermined by the fact that this feast has been left exposed to every passing phle...
A pair of gleeful leprechauns
A few days ago, Little Crack waited at a bus stop in Newcastle, in late April with icy fingers and blasted cheeks, heavy rucksack carving stress pain through a sciatic nerve f...
A deep dark drain
Sometimes Little Crack’s sympathy for the underdog is woefully misdirected. When we were small we’d occasionally be gripped by a crippling wave of sadness for the last chip on...
The human mind is like an egg
It sometimes feels to Little Crack that the human mind is like an egg carried inside a spaceship.
Little Crack has taken up jogging. Like every new hobbyist, we’ve become intensely evangelical and extremely skilled at mentioning our new fitness obsession upwards of six tim...
Panama Papers has such a lovely ring, doesn’t it? “Darling, I’m just popping out to pick up some pastries and the Panama Papers!”
Little Crack has begun to see the internet as a global exercise in lazy gravy making.