Our Crack Little Crack
When your cat puts his bum in your face
he’s hoping today will be the day you decide you quite fancy licking a cat’s bum.
Yesterday, waiting for a metro...
Yesterday, waiting for a metro (big shout out to Metro Ken), Little Crack witnessed an exchange between two strangers.
Here’s a fun thing to do.
Send someone who lives on Ginsters and pre-grated cheese with a list to get your fruit and veg.
Yesterday, Little Crack had a primeval experience.
We were walking along the street in our usual unassuming way, mediating on the idea that all of life is a prolonged endurance test,
When you have a baby
you end up with a sweep of blue or pink across the mantelpiece. Friends of Little Crack’s had a baby girl recently so they’ve got pink.
Little Crack started shoplifting at
around the same time we started choosing our own clothes. It was convenient. Like many weekend shoplifters operating in Morpeth throughout the early nineties,
In Victorian times it was really hard to be a parent.
Black rats were often put in children’s beds for warmth. Peppa Pig cost the equivalent of six months’ wages.
As a smallish child, Little Crack once stood before a mirror
and allowed our eyes to lose focus. We’d learnt to do this from Magic Eye posters and decided to try the technique on our own babyish visage. Blur overlapped with blur,
Yesterday morning at 10am,
Little Crack was driving along Newcastle’s ‘Diamond Strip’ with a friend. We passed a pair of girls looking somewhat the worse for wear, wearing tight, gaudily coloured dresse...
Little Crack watched a TV
programme about sewing the other day. They tried to make a drama of a concealed zip. There are baking programmes too, which are moderately compelling as they involve cake.
A friend of Little Crack’s recently
put a name to something that has been niggling us like a limb’s worth psoriasis of for quite some time. That something is the growing incidence of monumental self-satisfaction...
How do they do it? Football people.
Or, ‘football fanatics’ to give them their official name. They start a conversation in the middle with no preamble, yet they all know what’s going on.
The Crack's Little Crack
Rape is hilarious isn’t it? All sorts of rape make people chuckle nowadays. Vaginal rape, raping animals, being raped by animals and, of course, comedy gold, anal rape.