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Bondage, Indigo, The Gate, Newcastle, 1 Sept

bondage
I’ve got a fetish for sitting on the settee, eating biscuits and watching Nurse Jackie. It gets me off. Other people are different. Other people want a dedicated night. Other people want a UPVC night, replete with leather-bound high-jinx and a theme that will be realised from top to spanked bottom. Expect ultraviolet lighting, mirrored walls, black leather

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Free Museum Activities, Middlesbrough, through Aug


dorman museum
Golly. Where to start? How about Treasure Trail Tuesdays at the Dorman where youngsters can adventure around the world with the focus on a different continent each week. Also make a bee-line for the Dorman for Creative Cultures where children can explore their creative sides with a host of fun and colourful activities 

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Christina Purdue, Richard Ling Gallery, Newcastle, through Sept

christina purdue
What felt and lard were to Joseph Beuys, silk is to Christina Purdue. She luxuriates in it; uses its natural reflective qualities to enhance her works which exude colour and light. She lives in Hexham and is one of the region’s emerging talents working in the field of textiles and her latest exhibitions will showcase her latest,

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Music at The Georgian Theatre, Stockton, throughout Aug


sister rose
Sister Rose were formed at the beginning of 2010. Remember that era? People talked of the England football team having “world class players” with straight faces; a Con/Lib pact seemed utterly ridiculous; and if someone offered you an iPad you’d be forgiven for thinking your female sanitary requirements were in need of replenishing. No matter. This zesty four-piece came together back then and soon rocketed onto the region’s radar with their swaggering indie/rock

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Cock A Snook, Heaton, Friday August 13

cock a snook
Remember that bloke who got a huge tattoo of Andy Cole on his leg when the popular striker played for Newcastle? The ink on his thigh dried almost simultaneously with the ink on Cole’s new contract as he signed for Manchester United in a move that had commentators flicking through their thesauruses to find the polar opposite of the word

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ARC in the Park, Tees Barrage, Stockton, 27&28 August

junior simpson
Junior Simpson (that’s him fully stethoscoped up, above) is a funny man. Not only that, he’s a funny man on the up and up, recently starring in his own show on Channel 5, ‘In The Dark With Junior Simpson’, and bagging scores of rave reviews for his biting skits which send up everything from ragga music to pentecostal preachers. He’ll be

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Jean Cooke RA, University Gallery Northumbria, until 20 Aug

jean cooke
Under the hobbies section of her Who’s Who entry Cooke listed “ungardening” as one of her passions. This meant letting her garden, swimming pool and tennis court gently decay while she went to work painting the cherry trees, long grass festooned with buttercups and blue-flowering lungwort,

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Viz at the Lit & Phil, Newcastle, through 4 Sept

viz
The 16 things you need to know about Viz at the Lit & Phil.

1. The Lit & Phil is one of the real pillars of intellectual life in Newcastle, venerated by thousands.

2. And in its own way,

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Green Phoenix Festival, Gibside, 19-22 August

green phoenix festival
Legendary reggae act The Wailers have been confirmed to headline the Green Phoenix Festival at Gibside. We are so going to this.

The Green Phoenix Festival was already shaping up to be one of THE boutique festivals of our year,

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Sing Live, Jesmond United Reformed Church, 26 August

sing live
When I’m making my supper, for all intents and purposes, I am Karen Carpenter. What a voice I’ve got! (Disclaimer: It’s distinctly average.) No matter! I love singing and if you do too then why not see what Sing Live are up to. Their ethos is that everyone is able to sing and they’re currently recruiting new

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Streets Of Festival, Durham, 28-30 August

streets of durham
The city is going to be buzzing from August 28-30 as the streets become a stage for a three-day festival. The series of Streets Of festivals are kicking off with “Streets of Play” on the 28th making the city a busker’s paradise. There’ll be acrobatics, jugglers and other street

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Paul Grimmer, Yvette Hawkins, Globe, North Shields, until 15 Aug

Paul Grimmer and Yvette Hawkins
When’s the last time you chanced upon a portal to an unspecific place which opened up to reveal a glimpse of a seductive yet repulsive body form that constantly mutates? It sounds like The Thing on a Special K diet, but it is – fact fans – Changeling, Paul Grimmer’s new video installation which aims to take you on a trip

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Mr Fogg (and China Crisis), O2 Academy, Newcastle, 7 Aug

mr fogg
He’s been known to deploy twinkling bells and harps (HARPS!) for the express purpose of making music that is both sharp yet accessible. In short, he’s an ideas man; a multi-instrumentalist but he’s married all of his know-how to some electronic derring-do and come up with the kind of pop music that’ll have you tingling

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Johnny Whitehill, Four Lane Ends Social Club, 20 August

johnny whitehill
If you want to talk about the real deal when it comes to the blues then you’re going to have to talk about Johnny. Four times UK blues guitarist of the year, he’s played on four releases voted UK blues album of the year and came in at number seven when Guitar magazine listed their most influential British guitarists OF ALL TIME. He spent 15 years working with Paul Lamb

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Open-air theatre, Centre Square, Middlebrough, August

open air theatre
Bring a rug! Bring a picnic! Bring no alcoholic drinks! And then set your theatre-going thrill-o-meter to “Outside” and get ready for this little lot. To wit: The Comedy of Errors (Shakespeare’s fast, furious and funny farcical comedy – August 17, 6.30pm); James & The Giant Peach

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Pride and Prejudice,The Gala Theatre, Durham, 11 August

pride and prejudice
You know the story: the Bennet sisters have 24-hours to save the world from a time-travelling band of evil dinosaurs who are intent in setting off a thermo-nuclear device which will destroy all the world’s crinoline deposits…

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Peg Powler, ARC, Stockton, through 31 August

peg prowler
Any old insomniac could tell you that the bedroom should be designated for sleep and sex only. However, in a world of over-exposure, where the continual bombardment of images, hype and news means that everything has already been discovered thrice over, the bedroom now seems perhaps the only real escape,

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Habit, Hoults Yard, Newcastle, 29 August

aeroplane
If you’d like to bring your summer to a close in fine style then can I point you in the direction of this event. (Assuming your summer ends at the back end of August. Mine ended on May 28). It’s set to be a 12-hour bash encompassing three separate spaces

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Brutus Gold’s Love Train, Middlesbrough Empire, 27 August

love train
Brutus Gold and his ubiquitous Love Train were part of the fixtures and fitting of The Empire from 1993-2000 with over half a million punters getting on board for wild nights of disco related fun. We’re talking bump ‘n’ hustle in the most boogie-down of fashions in bashes that were more of an event than a simple club night. And now they’re back

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Bass! #003, The Attic, Newcastle, 13 August

bass
To follow the Bass! recipe for a club night follow these instructions: chuck all of the heavy, grimey, gut-wobbling genres of dance music into a pot; blitz them until they’re nice and chunky. Simmer not-so-gently then bring to a roaring boil. Serve sweaty. Launched in June by Turbulence resident Aems and

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