INCOMING

Free gig ahoy!
Ok – here’s the deal. Fly53 and VICE have melded together to shunt out the Fly53 Tour; a tour with a line-up which hasn’t been influenced by anything other than the bands, artists and DJs being too good to ignore. The first foray into such a venture features Portuguese kuduru ghettotech pioneers, Buraka Som Sistema; club beats from recent Modular signings, Bumblebeez; and up and coming shiny hip pop talent, Mapei, plus exclusive special guest DJs to be revealed on the night. Not bad for £0, eh? To get your free tickets you need to register online. Go to www.fly53tour.com

Fly53 Tour, Thursday May 29, The Other Rooms, Time Square, Newcastle, 8pm-2am.

 

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Let’s have a pregnant pause
Ok, now let’s talk about balletLORENT’s new dance thing, MaEternal. Their core company of professional dancers are being joined this week by a group of expectant mothers as they share with the audience the unseen beauty and power of what it means to carry the life of another within you. Oh yes. Choreographed by Liv Lorent this promises to be a thrilling production.

MaEternal, Wednesday May 14, Northern Stage, Newcastle, 7.30pm, £5-£18. www.northernstage.com

 

 

 

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Get set for Chaos
We’re not extreme sports fans per se. Ping pong is about as near-the-knuckle as we get. We don’t mind seeing other people have a dabble however and if you’re of a similar ilk get set for Chaos on the Coast (and before you start – no it’s not a bank holiday drinking session down Whitely Bay). We’re talking streetbike stunts, freestyle riders and mixed martial arts. We’re also talking a fairground, BMX, tattooing, loads of live bands and plenty of food stands. Most importantly we’re talking a bar. Up for it? Details below.

Chaos on the Coast, Saturday May 24 & Sunday May 25, The Whitburn Lodge, Coast Road, Whitburn, Sunderland. £10 (children 6-15, £5. Family £20). Book online and save up to 25% of tickets. All the info: www.vbsex.com

 

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See this funky looking geezer for nowt
This – my curious friends – is Nate James, a cove who recently scooped the Best Soul Act at the 2007 LIMAs. He’s been gigging in the likes of New York, Toronto, San Diego and LA but he’s returning to Britain this month to air his wares; wares which we’d file under ‘Soul-based With A Decidedly Funky Edge’. He’s playing a series of Living Room gigs, one of which is at Newcastle’s Living Room, and yes, it’s bugger-all to get in. He’ll be playing an hour-long set, accompanied by acoustic guitar and piano. Who said there’s no such thing as free hour-long-set-by-an-up-and-coming-soul star…? Eh?

Nate James, Wednesday May 14, The Living Room, Grey Street, Newcastle, 8pm, Free. www.natejames.com

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A bit of Blue for the dads
We were going to say: ‘contrary to popular belief, the Bluetones are still active’, but we doubt whether popular belief cares who the Bluetones are. That said, they do have something of a cult following, a following which has been rewarded by some truly exhilarating – yes exhilarating – live shows. They’ve also just bunged a greatest hits out which has more than a smattering of indie-goovers on it. Who’d have thought it?

The Bluetones, Newcastle Academy, Tuesday May 13, 7.30pm, £12.50. www.newcastle-academy.co.uk

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Had on!
This is Hadouken! We described their debut album in our new issue thus: “Imagine being stuck in Noble’s Amusements with all the fruit machines paying out the jackpot at the same time with someone shouting ‘crank it up’ over the top of them”. Can we now add to that their album also sounds like the soundtrack to ‘Migraine: The Musical’. In other words, it’s a nu-rave, day-glo frenzy with as much mega-watt mayhem as you can handle. They’re doing it all live sooner rather than later.

Hadouken!, Newcastle University, Tuesday May 13, 7.30pm, £11.50.

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Gloria Gaynor
Here’s a nice picture of Gloria Gaynor with Prince. Actually, it’s Prince Albert of Monaco but no matter (point of order: you can get a penis piercing called a Prince Albert - does anyone know why it’s called that? We did google it, but were assaulted by the kind of fetish sites that we can’t stomach on a Wednesday). Anyway. We adore Gloria Gaynor and her disco ways. She’s currently on her 30th anniversary tour (guess what it’s called? Hint: her biggest hit is ‘I Will Survive’), where she’ll be joined by The Drifters. Corking.

Gloria Gaynor, Friday May 16, The Sage Gateshead, 7.30pm, £7/£35. www.thesagegateshead.org

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Win exclusive signed Wombats single from Jack Daniel’s!
Here>

 

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Watch out, needle’s about
Mmm… We’re kinda loving the new exhibition at The Biscuit Factory, Well Thread. It’s the first exhibition of its kind in the north-east and is an innovative, contemporary textile show which features artists from across the UK, employing a diverse range of techniques in their work using both traditional and new materials. Thimble-meisters include: Laura McCafferty, Jan Bowman, Poppy Davison, Francesca Hudson, Chrissie Morgan and Lisa Corken. Pure thread kandi.

Well Thread, until June 2, The Biscuit Factory, Stoddart Street, Newcastle. www.thebiscuitfactory.com

 

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Tyneside as a cultural hub – cancelled!
Newcastle has done so much over the last few years to reinvent itself as a forward-looking, arty and all-round hub of cultural activity. Countless millions have been spent, galleries opened, festivals launched and now we find it’s all been for nought. Anyone who saw – no endured – Channel 4’s Come Dine With Me from Newcastle the other day, will know the reasons why. Our reputation for the finer things in life lies in tatters…

 

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Up Yours Noel
Noel Gallagher has told the BBC Jay-Z is ‘wrong’ for Glastonbury: ‘I'm sorry, but Jay-Z? No chance. Glastonbury has a tradition of guitar music.’ What an utter tool! I say good on yer Glasto for trying to maintain variety, something evolving… Is whingy whinny Noel dismissing all the non-guitar acts that have stormed the Glastonbury stage over the years - Orbital in 94 The Prodigy in 95, Chemical Brothers in 2000 and 2007. Why pray tell is Jay-Z any different? Because it’s hip-hop? Because it’s black? Festivals revolving around tired old formulas and maintaining the footing need a good kick up the arse every once in a while. What happened to music and festivals being about universality, breaking boundaries, and pushing envelopes? But, little wonder sniffling Noel with his unbridled arrogance complained, he’s old guard. A fortune made on regurgitating musical formulas something that were better in their original form The Beatles (to be generous) or Status Quo (to be honest). He’s all for maintaining and regurgitating. On the other hand Jay-Z's abilities as a performer are explosive and as an artist verging on savant. This is no second rate rapper for a prime music slot. I just can’t wait to see Jay-Z blasting the roof off at Glasto for all the real music fans. It's going to be EXTRA-ordinary!

Stick your two fingers up to boring, bland Noel and his idiotic hair and Register for Glasto tickets here >

 

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Pick the bones out of this
Sometimes a line-up for a gig is announced where we can’t really say anything about it as mere words (which are just a jumble of shapes assembled together to suggest a notion) are not enough. Sometimes all we can do is list who’s on the bill and let you take it all in for yourselves. So, here we go. The place: the Journal Tyne Theatre; the date: September 13 2008; the line-up: Cannon & Ball, Paul Daniels, Frank Carson, Jimmy Cricket, Brotherhood of Man and The Krankies. That – ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls – is the Best Of British Variety Tour 2008. Rock!!! On!!! Tommy!!!

Best of British Variety Tour, Journal Tyne Theatre, September 13. www.thejournaltynetheatre.co.uk

 

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Who’d have thought it?
It’s great to see that the Olympic movement is getting back to basics with sport; transporting us to a time before professionalism ruined everything. Their new discipline of Try And Put The Torch Out Before It Gets To The Other Side Of Town By Any Means Necessary, is going back to the days of British Bulldog, or maybe one of those old fashioned football games where two villages chase a pigs bladder around a muddy field. No rules, any number of people can play and with a truly international flavour. What’s not to love? Anyway: our San Fran correspondent has just sent us this pic of the latest participants.

(Photo: Michael Jang)

Seek: www.freetibet.org
More info about China and its involvement in Darfur here >

 

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There are going to be 100 life-sized legs hidden around Newcastle from Monday April 14. What’s that about then? Well, it’s all down to Kickers who are celebrating the launch of their new range of footwear by aiming to give the finders of these limbs a real leg up when it comes to acquiring some Kickers’ related goodies. So here’s the low-down: find a leg; take the leg out into the world and get creative – snap them on a local landmark, take them for a walk, show them some fancy footwork or even get them waxed. Once you’ve found the perfect spot, take a cheeky snap and upload it at www.kickers.co.uk to be in with a chance of winning. The best ones will receive Kick-Hi boots and festival tickets. On each pair of legs you’ll also find a text code for you to get 10% off your next pair. Full details at their website below.

Seek: www.kickers.co.uk

 

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A very scarry test of your perceptive skills...

Click Here...

and be amazed be very amazed >

 

 

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Who Needs A Movie?
WE DO!!!!!!!!!! If this little outfits behind it...

Click Here >

 

 

 

 

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Middlesbrough Music Live! Get involved!

Middlesbrough Music Live – now in its ninth year – has a reputation for showcasing bands on the cusp of hugeness and this year the organisers are asking punters to nominate who they’d like to see play there. Graham Ramsay of Ten Feet Tall (who co-ordinates the festival) said:“It might sound cheesy but this festival is as much about the people of Teesside as anything else. We want to know who the people want to see – we can’t make any promises, but the least we can do is listen to all of your suggestions and who knows, we might be able to bring your favourite new band to the town!” Contact details below.

Middlesbrough Music Live takes place on June 1. Seek: www.middlesbroughmusiclive.co.uk

 

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Get up Cracksters and find that boogie body! Click here>

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Fantastic psychedelic music video for Jefferson Airplane's White Rabbit starring the original Star Trek crew...

Click here>

 

 

 

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Step back in time
As long as the good folk of the region continue to take an interest in the past, then history will always have a future. The BALTIC History Tour has been created by BALTIC crew member, Steve Halcyon, and captures stories and facts about BALTIC’s building and the surrounding areas. The evocative tour will take visitors on a journey back into bygone years (ranging from the great fire of Gateshead and Newcatle to scheming Tudor politicians) and be fun, factual and suitable for all ages. What’s more tickets purchased for the tour (priced £4) will give participants a 20% discount at the BALTIC café and shop on the day of the tour.

The tours take place each Thursday from 11am, £4 (from BALTIC shop).

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ON TOUR...